Yesterday I have an appoinment with my friends to visit Maulana's grave. I already sending message to them. They said that they can join, but the truth (it's what I think) they break their bullshit promise.
Honestly, I know that I shouldn't preoritize my selfishness, I know that I misunderstood the meaning of the promise that they gave to me, I know that they say the truth, I know that it isn't their fault, I know it's my own fault. It's my fault for believing and relying them. I relize that. The truth is I don't want for being guilty and that's why I'm getting angry with them.
I'm frustrated. I just don't understand why they often do this to me. I don't have the answer. I couldn't find for that.
So from now on, I promise, for my self, for my own sake, for my own fate I will decide I'll hold an event or invite someone only if I want to or not. I think something called "friends" was never exist. There are only 3 kinds of relationship: family, true friends and no one. That's my conclusion.
Honestly, I know that I shouldn't preoritize my selfishness, I know that I misunderstood the meaning of the promise that they gave to me, I know that they say the truth, I know that it isn't their fault, I know it's my own fault. It's my fault for believing and relying them. I relize that. The truth is I don't want for being guilty and that's why I'm getting angry with them.
I'm frustrated. I just don't understand why they often do this to me. I don't have the answer. I couldn't find for that.
So from now on, I promise, for my self, for my own sake, for my own fate I will decide I'll hold an event or invite someone only if I want to or not. I think something called "friends" was never exist. There are only 3 kinds of relationship: family, true friends and no one. That's my conclusion.
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